Perks Magazine

An exploration of sex, sexuality and little bits of life

The Perky Jouney

The Perky journey began back in 2010 with a little blog called Rhonda Perky’s Bits.

In my early 30s, married and divorced, from horny to frigid and back again, I began to delve into my experiences with friendship, love, lust, and everything in between.

My blog was a place to document my reflections and shifting perspectives on social norms such as monogamy and kink, and my experiences navigating the interpersonal.

A few years on, having enrolled to study sexology and sexual health, I expanded the blog to encompass feature articles, essays, and observations, and launched Perks Magazine.

I hope my journey inspires you to reflect and explore.

With love, Rhonda xx

Latest posts

My sex life

Rhonda reflects on the role sex plays in life (or doesn’t) and the struggles many women face (re)connecting with their sex life.

On consent: pushing past ‘no’ isn’t a victory

Rhonda explores the nuances of consent and what happens when we are socialised to defer to the needs of others or to push past no.

Why I chose not to have children

Rhonda explores the grief around her choice not to have children, from societal pressures, childhood trauma, and the state of the world today.

The pitfalls of making friends as a grownup

Rhonda faces some of the pitfalls of making friends as an adult and what can happen when one friend needs the company of the other more.

Stop Being a White Knight

Or, why you shouldn’t try to save the people you want to f*ck

Rope Sensei: your one-stop rope shop

Want to explore the pleasures of playing with rope? Rope Sensei has got your back.

Body image: when ‘perfection’ isn’t enough

Rhonda explores her toxic relationship with body image, attachment to self-criticism, and aversion to self-acceptance.

Filtering ourselves through rejection-coloured glasses

In Part Three of this exploration of self-image, projection, and the ego-defences, Rhonda explores how we filter our view of ourselves.

Memory — The Self as an Unreliable Narrator

In Part Two of this exploration of self-image, projection, and the ego-defences, Rhonda explores the unreliability of memory.

Projecting Rejection

The first in a series of posts where Rhonda explores self-image, projection, and the ego-defences we use to preserve our sense of self.

Under the covers…

Relation-ships
Kink
Single
Life
Sex
Your Stories
Sexuality
Perky Leigh
Porn
Ask Rhonda
Editorial
Perky’s Bits
Reviews

Why I struggle to give unbiased relationship advice

Rhonda reflects on how her experiences have shaped her view of relationships.

Review: Sex with Shakespeare

We review Jillian Keenan’s memoir on Shakespeare, love, and spanking: a story not just for kinksters and fetishists, but for everyone.

When ‘no’ falls on deaf ears — sex offenders and the criminal justice system

Sexual violence and acts of sexual coercion are commonplace, yet many of these crimes go unreported, never make it to court, or get thrown out once they do. We take a closer look at why.

Dating dishonesty: why our social scripts are doing us damage

Unless we make room for open and honest communication early on, we can only end up with a host of dissatisfied people, constantly seeking one thing, but finding another.

Starting Over: ‘One day my prince will come’

At 39, single mother Pacsac reflects on dating, her ‘Cinderella Syndrome’ and starting over.

My journey inside a BDSM club

Ever wondered what happens inside a BDSM and fetish club? I donned a black mini dress, fishnets, CFM boots and my voyeur’s cap to find out.

Body image: when ‘perfection’ isn’t enough

Rhonda explores her toxic relationship with body image, attachment to self-criticism, and aversion to self-acceptance.

‘Bunnies Unbound’ — unravelling preconceptions about rope

Through Bunnies Unbound, Kat Johnston hopes to break through some of the preconceptions people have about rope-based bondage, the people who practice it, and kink more broadly.

Why is it only legitimate when we take away the sex?

Sex can be functional and legitimate or it can be sexy and pleasurable, but never both…

Stop Being a White Knight

Or, why you shouldn’t try to save the people you want to f*ck

Memory — The Self as an Unreliable Narrator

In Part Two of this exploration of self-image, projection, and the ego-defences, Rhonda explores the unreliability of memory.

Misguided protectiveness, slut-shaming or internalised paternalism?

Rhonda Perky examines how everyday paternalism shifts accountability, and asks: ‘What makes us uncomfortable? Whose behaviour is really the problem? Where does the accountability lie?’

Projecting Rejection

The first in a series of posts where Rhonda explores self-image, projection, and the ego-defences we use to preserve our sense of self.

Married Sex – A fairytale in three parts

Rhonda reflects on the rise and fall of desire in a long term relationship.

Inertia

Rhonda reflects on her struggles to follow her dreams, trapped by the safety and security of inertia.

Behind the smile

Are you okay? What lies behind the smile.

Abuse is a choice

Rhonda Perky shares her reflections on ending up in an abusive relationship and how she eventually walked away, and the questions this raises for our society.

My dirty little secret

Rhonda explores her journey coming out as bisexual.

What does a word weigh?

‘Rape’? Rhonda Perky reflects on the weight of words in how we conceptualise our experiences.

The pitfalls of making friends as a grownup

Rhonda faces some of the pitfalls of making friends as an adult and what can happen when one friend needs the company of the other more.

AB/DL: Adult babies and diaper lovers

AB/DL (Adult Babies/Diaper Lovers) is an umbrella term for individuals who have an interest in various kinds of ‘Age Play’ or who are attracted to wearing diapers. Rhonda chats to members of the ABDL community to find out what it means for them.

Madison Missina — on sexual health and personal safety

In Part Three, porn star and escort Madison Missina talks sexual health and personal safety in the sex industry.

Tantra: get ready to try this at home

‘Why do to your man what he can do to himself?’ This week I ventured into the erotic world of Tantric massage.

My journey inside a BDSM club

Ever wondered what happens inside a BDSM and fetish club? I donned a black mini dress, fishnets, CFM boots and my voyeur’s cap to find out.

Whose threesome is it anyway?

In the heat of the moment, whose threesome is it, anyway? Rhonda explores the gap between fantasy and reality.

Sacred sexuality: sex-negativity in spiritual clothing?

When I think of sacred sexuality (or Tantra), it sets off my bullshit meter. I picture caftans and communes, or people publicly displaying a kind of seventies big-bush sexuality that feels particularly unsexy to me. Is this sex-negativity in spirituality’s clothing? Or is something else going on?

Conflicting desires: when arousal is disturbing

Objectifying images may be less comfortable and more confronting to watch, but they can evoke a more direct physical response. But what if there is an emotional cost of continually engaging in this kind of ‘disturbing arousal’?

Why cheaters lie to both partners

Has someone in a relationship tried to hit on you for sexy chats, sexting or more? In the process, have they spun you a story about how unhappy they are in their current relationship? Ever wondered why?

Review: Sex with Shakespeare

We review Jillian Keenan’s memoir on Shakespeare, love, and spanking: a story not just for kinksters and fetishists, but for everyone.

Why straight women watch gay porn

Lori reflects on why some straight women prefer watching gay porn.

Condoms kill my erection

Rhonda helps a recently divorced man learn to use condoms without losing his erection.

How can I make a girl cum?

Rhonda answers the question: how can I make a girl cum?

My boyfriend has transgender friends – does he want to be with one again?

Rhonda answers the question: ‘My boyfriend has transgender friends on his profile. I was wondering if he wants to be with one again?’

I’m a virgin. Should I tell my kinky partner?

Should this virgin tell her S&M partner?

My fiancé struggles to find partners in our open relationship

‘I don’t want to cheat but I can’t control myself. What should I do?’

I am a sadist but my wife won’t let me do what I want to others

Rhonda offers advice to a sadist whose vanilla wife won’t let him practice sadism outside the marriage.

I want to open my relationship—is this a cause for disaster?

Rhonda answers your question: I want to open my relationship — is this a cause for disaster?

Could my boyfriend be bi-curious?

Rhonda answers the question, ‘Could my boyfriend be bi-curious or is that just him and his friends being goofs?’

What is the difference between BDSM, D/s and S&M?

Rhonda answers the question: What is the difference between BDSM, D/s and S&M?

How do I tell my boyfriend I want an open relationship?

Rhonda helps a reader have a conversation about opening the relationship.