Perks Magazine
An exploration of sex, sexuality and little bits of life
The Perky Jouney
The Perky journey began back in 2010 with a little blog called Rhonda Perky’s Bits.
In my early 30s, married and divorced, from horny to frigid and back again, I began to delve into my experiences with friendship, love, lust, and everything in between.
My blog was a place to document my reflections and shifting perspectives on social norms such as monogamy and kink, and my experiences navigating the interpersonal.
A few years on, having enrolled to study sexology and sexual health, I expanded the blog to encompass feature articles, essays, and observations, and launched Perks Magazine.
I hope my journey inspires you to reflect and explore.
With love, Rhonda xx
Latest posts
How to Have Free Fetish Phone Calls Online
Fetish phone calls are a safe, anonymous way for individuals to explore their fantasies and desires. But how do you have a successful fetish phone call?
Erotic Pop Art
From D-Rex vs Triceracocks to Mr. Bearbottom, Christopher Adam Gray shares his whimsical exploration of sex positive concepts and figurative art with Perks Magazine.
Not my circus, not my monkeys
Rhonda reflects on the many ways she has taken on responsibility that never belonged to her.
I’m not okay with my bf’s past and sexual interests – should I leave him?
Rhonda answers the question: ‘I’m not okay with my bf’s past and sexual interests – should I leave him?’
My sex life
Rhonda reflects on the role sex plays in life (or doesn’t) and the struggles many women face (re)connecting with their sex life.
On consent: pushing past ‘no’ isn’t a victory
Rhonda explores the nuances of consent and what happens when we are socialised to defer to the needs of others or to push past no.
Why I chose not to have children
Rhonda explores the grief around her choice not to have children, from societal pressures, childhood trauma, and the state of the world today.
The pitfalls of making friends as a grownup
Rhonda faces some of the pitfalls of making friends as an adult and what can happen when one friend needs the company of the other more.
Under the covers…
Relation-ships
Kink
Single
Life
Sex
Your Stories
Sexuality
Perky Leigh
Porn
Ask Rhonda
Editorial
Perky’s Bits
Reviews
The Creepy Line: Do Not Cross
Rhonda explores why it’s socially acceptable for women to flirt and compliment, but not straight men.
In conversation with sex coach Liv Bryant
Ever wondered what it’s like being a sex coach? I chat to sex coach Liv Bryant of Tell Me Darling to find out.
Blurred Lines – what is cheating to you?
Within non-monogamy, what does cheating mean anyway? Tessa shares her story.
‘…to the exclusion of all others’
What monogamy really asks of our long-term partners and ourselves.
Sacred sexuality: sex-negativity in spiritual clothing?
When I think of sacred sexuality (or Tantra), it sets off my bullshit meter. I picture caftans and communes, or people publicly displaying a kind of seventies big-bush sexuality that feels particularly unsexy to me. Is this sex-negativity in spirituality’s clothing? Or is something else going on?
Sex addiction: another form of slut shaming?
Sex ‘addiction’ has become a label we slap on anyone we perceive as having a higher than ‘normal’ sex drive (whatever that is) or whose behaviour sits outside social norms (whatever those are). Is this just another form of slut-shaming?
Why is it only legitimate when we take away the sex?
Sex can be functional and legitimate or it can be sexy and pleasurable, but never both…
Body image: when ‘perfection’ isn’t enough
Rhonda explores her toxic relationship with body image, attachment to self-criticism, and aversion to self-acceptance.
If you don’t know, the answer is “no”
‘What if a girl says yes, then changes her mind?’ Rhonda provides some clarity on why the only yes is a sober and enthusiastic one.
‘Nobody buys flowers for the porn-pile girl’
Rhonda Perky goes under the covers to discover what it means to be a Modern Slut.
Whose threesome is it anyway?
In the heat of the moment, whose threesome is it, anyway? Rhonda explores the gap between fantasy and reality.
My sex life
Rhonda reflects on the role sex plays in life (or doesn’t) and the struggles many women face (re)connecting with their sex life.
Misguided protectiveness, slut-shaming or internalised paternalism?
Rhonda Perky examines how everyday paternalism shifts accountability, and asks: ‘What makes us uncomfortable? Whose behaviour is really the problem? Where does the accountability lie?’
Memory — The Self as an Unreliable Narrator
In Part Two of this exploration of self-image, projection, and the ego-defences, Rhonda explores the unreliability of memory.
Feel the fear
From the blog: Rhonda Perky learns a tough lesson in feeling the fear and doing it anyway.
Body image: when ‘perfection’ isn’t enough
Rhonda explores her toxic relationship with body image, attachment to self-criticism, and aversion to self-acceptance.
Married Sex – A fairytale in three parts
Rhonda reflects on the rise and fall of desire in a long term relationship.
How do I introduce a kink to my partner?
Rhonda helps a kinky lover introduce a new kink to their repertoire.
Choke Me, Spit On Me, I’m a Feminist — Part Three
Meet Melissa K.: Feminist and Submissive who has had to resolve the conflict between her rape fantasies and her strongly feminist ideals.
What I learned from online dating
Online dating taught me less about love and lust and more about confronting my fears. I didn’t always have a good time, but I collected an array of new experiences, and ultimately skills that have helped me learn and grow socially and professionally.
A square peg in a round hole
Rhonda struggles to define what ‘relationship’ might mean while still exploring her sexuality.
On consent: pushing past ‘no’ isn’t a victory
Rhonda explores the nuances of consent and what happens when we are socialised to defer to the needs of others or to push past no.
Madison Missina — on sexual health and personal safety
In Part Three, porn star and escort Madison Missina talks sexual health and personal safety in the sex industry.
Why straight women watch gay porn
Lori reflects on why some straight women prefer watching gay porn.
Casual sex: doing it without doing dinner
Rhonda offers her advice on negotiating casual sex.
Could my boyfriend be bi-curious?
Rhonda answers the question, ‘Could my boyfriend be bi-curious or is that just him and his friends being goofs?’
What is the difference between BDSM, D/s and S&M?
Rhonda answers the question: What is the difference between BDSM, D/s and S&M?
My boyfriend has transgender friends – does he want to be with one again?
Rhonda answers the question: ‘My boyfriend has transgender friends on his profile. I was wondering if he wants to be with one again?’
Cuckold fantasies: My lover likes the idea of me with other men
‘My emotional brain says he doesn’t care enough to want me to himself. Are we doomed to remain fuck-buddies?’
I am a sadist but my wife won’t let me do what I want to others
Rhonda offers advice to a sadist whose vanilla wife won’t let him practice sadism outside the marriage.
I’m an extremely horny person. Should I cheat or ask for an open relationship?
Rhonda’s advice on what an extremely horny person in a monogamous relationship should do.
My girlfriend agreed to an open relationship… until I wanted to act on it
Rhonda Perky answers your question: My girlfriend agreed to an open relationship… until I wanted to act on it. What should I do?
I’m in love with a girl in an abusive relationship
Rhonda helps a White Knight rescue a damsel in an open-but-abusive relationship, and offers some tips on handling jealousy.