Perks Magazine

An exploration of sex, sexuality and little bits of life

The Perky Jouney

The Perky journey began back in 2010 with a little blog called Rhonda Perky’s Bits.

In my early 30s, married and divorced, from horny to frigid and back again, I began to delve into my experiences with friendship, love, lust, and everything in between.

My blog was a place to document my reflections and shifting perspectives on social norms such as monogamy and kink, and my experiences navigating the interpersonal.

A few years on, having enrolled to study sexology and sexual health, I expanded the blog to encompass feature articles, essays, and observations, and launched Perks Magazine.

I hope my journey inspires you to reflect and explore.

With love, Rhonda xx

Latest posts

Filtering ourselves through rejection-coloured glasses

In Part Three of this exploration of self-image, projection, and the ego-defences, Rhonda explores how we filter our view of ourselves.

Memory — The Self as an Unreliable Narrator

In Part Two of this exploration of self-image, projection, and the ego-defences, Rhonda explores the unreliability of memory.

Projecting Rejection

The first in a series of posts where Rhonda explores self-image, projection, and the ego-defences we use to preserve our sense of self.

Strike Up A Chat

Rhonda chats to Natalie Swedosh about her Strike Up A Chat social interaction initiative that helps women and men reconnect in person.

My boyfriend has transgender friends – does he want to be with one again?

Rhonda answers the question: ‘My boyfriend has transgender friends on his profile. I was wondering if he wants to be with one again?’

Tennille Melcher: Art + Sensuality = Empowerment

Tennessee-based Boudoir/Intimate photographer and blogger Tennille Melcher shares her passion for empowering others.

I caught my boyfriend cheating

Rhonda helps a woman process the aftermath of a betrayal.

I’m in love with a girl in an abusive relationship

Rhonda helps a White Knight rescue a damsel in an open-but-abusive relationship, and offers some tips on handling jealousy.

Once bitten, twice shy

Rhonda helps a 23-year-old virgin find a way to trust again.

How can I trust after a betrayal?

Rhonda helps a Mistress learn to trust after a betrayal.

Under the covers…

Relation-ships
Kink
Single
Life
Sex
Your Stories
Sexuality
Perky Leigh
Porn
Ask Rhonda
Editorial
Perky’s Bits
Reviews

The Creepy Line: Do Not Cross

Rhonda explores why it’s socially acceptable for women to flirt and compliment, but not straight men.

Dating dishonesty: why our social scripts are doing us damage

Unless we make room for open and honest communication early on, we can only end up with a host of dissatisfied people, constantly seeking one thing, but finding another.

Choke Me, Spit On Me, I’m a Feminist — Part Three

Meet Melissa K.: Feminist and Submissive who has had to resolve the conflict between her rape fantasies and her strongly feminist ideals.

5 Reasons Listicles Should Be Abolished

You won’t believe what happens when you read this click-bait article!

Blurred Lines – what is cheating to you?

Within non-monogamy, what does cheating mean anyway? Tessa shares her story.

Tantra: get ready to try this at home

‘Why do to your man what he can do to himself?’ This week I ventured into the erotic world of Tantric massage.

Starting Over: ‘One day my prince will come’

At 39, single mother Jaime reflects on dating, her ‘Cinderella Syndrome’ and starting over.

Review: Sex with Shakespeare

We review Jillian Keenan’s memoir on Shakespeare, love, and spanking: a story not just for kinksters and fetishists, but for everyone.

Baby Voodoo: When kink meets art meets fashion

Melbourne-based artist and designer Baby Voodoo shares her love of all things naughty and nice with Perks Magazine.

One plus one equals three?

Lady Chatterley shares her non-monogamous memoir.

Memory — The Self as an Unreliable Narrator

In Part Two of this exploration of self-image, projection, and the ego-defences, Rhonda explores the unreliability of memory.

Married Sex – A fairytale in three parts

Rhonda reflects on the rise and fall of desire in a long term relationship.

My dirty little secret

Rhonda explores her journey coming out as bisexual.

Abuse is a choice

Rhonda Perky shares her reflections on ending up in an abusive relationship and how she eventually walked away, and the questions this raises for our society.

Projecting Rejection

The first in a series of posts where Rhonda explores self-image, projection, and the ego-defences we use to preserve our sense of self.

I am not okay

Who helps the helpers? Rhonda reflects on what it means to not be okay when you are the one who is supposed to keep it together.

Unravelling jealousy

Rhonda reveals her struggle with jealousy and what it means to hold on by letting go.

What does a word weigh?

‘Rape’? Rhonda Perky reflects on the weight of words in how we conceptualise our experiences.

In the heat of the moment

Negotiating safe sex should be straightforward. But when those involved fear rejection and judgement, when we associate asking for a condom with calling someone ‘dirty’, when we are socialised to defer to others, it gets complicated.

Perky Commandments

Rhonda’s commandments for love, lust and life.

Perky Commandments

Rhonda’s commandments for love, lust and life.

Choke Me, Spit On Me, I’m a Feminist — Part One

Clarissa-Jan Lim explores the history of feminism and its views on BDSM.

Madison Missina — on porn

In Part Two, Madison Missina talks about her experiences behind the scenes on a porn set.

In the heat of the moment

Negotiating safe sex should be straightforward. But when those involved fear rejection and judgement, when we associate asking for a condom with calling someone ‘dirty’, when we are socialised to defer to others, it gets complicated.

Communication in conflict

Can your communication style during conflict really make a difference?

Porn rots your brain

…and other sex negative ‘phallacies’. Just how bad is porn, anyway?

Starting Over: ‘One day my prince will come’

At 39, single mother Jaime reflects on dating, her ‘Cinderella Syndrome’ and starting over.

When someone you know has vaginismus

If someone you loved told you they had vaginismus, would you know what they were referring to or how to respond? Sarah Rowe has prepared this guide for partners, friends and family.

Sex addiction: another form of slut shaming?

Sex ‘addiction’ has become a label we slap on anyone we perceive as having a higher than ‘normal’ sex drive (whatever that is) or whose behaviour sits outside social norms (whatever those are). Is this just another form of slut-shaming?

What I learned from online dating

Online dating taught me less about love and lust and more about confronting my fears. I didn’t always have a good time, but I collected an array of new experiences, and ultimately skills that have helped me learn and grow socially and professionally.

Unrequited love, or ‘don’t bump uglies with your housemate’

Rhonda counsels a reader on navigating his relationship with a jealous housemate.

Looking for the latest in sex toy technology

Rhonda helps a reader explore the latest in teledildonics.

I’m a virgin. Should I tell my kinky partner?

Should this virgin tell her S&M partner?

Is my partner a Dom or a sadist?

Rhonda helps determine if a lover is a Dom or a sadist, and offers tips on how to play safely and with consent.

Can a submissive help her partner become Dominant?

Rhonda helps a submissive open up the D/s conversation with her potentially Dominant partner.

My husband and I are sexually incompatible but I don’t want an open relationship

Rhonda helps a married reader navigate sexual incompatibility with her husband.

Is watching S&M internet pornography harmful?

Rhonda Perky answers your question: Do you think watching S&M pornography is harmful?

How can I get past my performance anxiety?

Rhonda answers your question on how to overcome performance anxiety during sex.

My boyfriend likes ‘shemales’ – what do I do?

Rhonda offers advice to a woman whose partner is into ‘shemale’ porn

How do I tell my boyfriend I want an open relationship?

Rhonda helps a reader have a conversation about opening the relationship.