Perks Magazine
An exploration of sex, sexuality and little bits of life
The Perky Jouney
The Perky journey began back in 2010 with a little blog called Rhonda Perky’s Bits.
In my early 30s, married and divorced, from horny to frigid and back again, I began to delve into my experiences with friendship, love, lust, and everything in between.
My blog was a place to document my reflections and shifting perspectives on social norms such as monogamy and kink, and my experiences navigating the interpersonal.
A few years on, having enrolled to study sexology and sexual health, I expanded the blog to encompass feature articles, essays, and observations, and launched Perks Magazine.
I hope my journey inspires you to reflect and explore.
With love, Rhonda xx
Latest posts
Why I chose not to have children
The pitfalls of making friends as a grownup
Rhonda faces some of the pitfalls of making friends as an adult and what can happen when one friend needs the company of the other more.
Rope Sensei: your one-stop rope shop
Want to explore the pleasures of playing with rope? Rope Sensei has got your back.
Body image: when ‘perfection’ isn’t enough
Rhonda explores her toxic relationship with body image, attachment to self-criticism, and aversion to self-acceptance.
Filtering ourselves through rejection-coloured glasses
In Part Three of this exploration of self-image, projection, and the ego-defences, Rhonda explores how we filter our view of ourselves.
Memory — The Self as an Unreliable Narrator
In Part Two of this exploration of self-image, projection, and the ego-defences, Rhonda explores the unreliability of memory.
Projecting Rejection
The first in a series of posts where Rhonda explores self-image, projection, and the ego-defences we use to preserve our sense of self.
Strike Up A Chat
Rhonda chats to Natalie Swedosh about her Strike Up A Chat social interaction initiative that helps women and men reconnect in person.
My boyfriend has transgender friends – does he want to be with one again?
Rhonda answers the question: ‘My boyfriend has transgender friends on his profile. I was wondering if he wants to be with one again?’
Under the covers…
Relation-ships
Kink
Single
Life
Sex
Your Stories
Sexuality
Perky Leigh
Porn
Ask Rhonda
Editorial
Perky’s Bits
Reviews
My journey inside a BDSM club
Ever wondered what happens inside a BDSM and fetish club? I donned a black mini dress, fishnets, CFM boots and my voyeur’s cap to find out.
Sacred sexuality: sex-negativity in spiritual clothing?
When I think of sacred sexuality (or Tantra), it sets off my bullshit meter. I picture caftans and communes, or people publicly displaying a kind of seventies big-bush sexuality that feels particularly unsexy to me. Is this sex-negativity in spirituality’s clothing? Or is something else going on?
Body image: when ‘perfection’ isn’t enough
Rhonda explores her toxic relationship with body image, attachment to self-criticism, and aversion to self-acceptance.
Choke Me, Spit On Me, I’m a Feminist — Part Three
Meet Melissa K.: Feminist and Submissive who has had to resolve the conflict between her rape fantasies and her strongly feminist ideals.
The Creepy Line: Do Not Cross
Rhonda explores why it’s socially acceptable for women to flirt and compliment, but not straight men.
‘…to the exclusion of all others’
What monogamy really asks of our long-term partners and ourselves.
Hummers: first sign of marriage breakdown
Researchers have now shown that Hummers are one of the first real signs of marriage breakdown. Couples who use a Hummer as part of their wedding ceremonies will have an 87% chance of divorce within the first 6 months of marriage.
Choke Me, Spit On Me, I’m a Feminist — Part Two
Clarissa-Jan Lim shares the story of a self-proclaimed feminist BDSM couple Ian Locklear and Nicole Lavoie and the ways they reconcile their feminist views with their D/s lifestyle…
Strike Up A Chat
Rhonda chats to Natalie Swedosh about her Strike Up A Chat social interaction initiative that helps women and men reconnect in person.
I am not okay
Who helps the helpers? Rhonda reflects on what it means to not be okay when you are the one who is supposed to keep it together.
When a crab crawls out of its basket
Rhonda recalls her journey out of the crab basket and beyond the mould in which she was once cast.
Endometriosis: 20 years of invisible pain
Rhonda Perky reflects on living with endometriosis for the past 20 years.
Conflicting desires: when arousal is disturbing
Objectifying images may be less comfortable and more confronting to watch, but they can evoke a more direct physical response. But what if there is an emotional cost of continually engaging in this kind of ‘disturbing arousal’?
A square peg in a round hole
Rhonda struggles to define what ‘relationship’ might mean while still exploring her sexuality.
Communication in conflict
Can your communication style during conflict really make a difference?
What does a word weigh?
‘Rape’? Rhonda Perky reflects on the weight of words in how we conceptualise our experiences.
The power in sex
Does sex necessarily involve power? Not just Domination and submission, but non-BDSM sex? Rhonda Perky explores questions of power and privilege inherent in sex.
‘Nobody buys flowers for the porn-pile girl’
Rhonda Perky goes under the covers to discover what it means to be a Modern Slut.
‘Bunnies Unbound’ — unravelling preconceptions about rope
Through Bunnies Unbound, Kat Johnston hopes to break through some of the preconceptions people have about rope-based bondage, the people who practice it, and kink more broadly.
What is the difference between BDSM, D/s and S&M?
Rhonda answers the question: What is the difference between BDSM, D/s and S&M?
Communication in conflict
Can your communication style during conflict really make a difference?
AB/DL: Adult babies and diaper lovers
AB/DL (Adult Babies/Diaper Lovers) is an umbrella term for individuals who have an interest in various kinds of ‘Age Play’ or who are attracted to wearing diapers. Rhonda chats to members of the ABDL community to find out what it means for them.
What I learned from online dating
Online dating taught me less about love and lust and more about confronting my fears. I didn’t always have a good time, but I collected an array of new experiences, and ultimately skills that have helped me learn and grow socially and professionally.
Baby Voodoo: When kink meets art meets fashion
Melbourne-based artist and designer Baby Voodoo shares her love of all things naughty and nice with Perks Magazine.
Couple swapping: negotiating boundaries
Group sex might resemble porn, but if you’re not careful, a fantasy can turn into a nightmare.
What is the difference between BDSM, D/s and S&M?
Rhonda answers the question: What is the difference between BDSM, D/s and S&M?
Can a submissive help her partner become Dominant?
Rhonda helps a submissive open up the D/s conversation with her potentially Dominant partner.
How can I get past my performance anxiety?
Rhonda answers your question on how to overcome performance anxiety during sex.
How do I tell my boyfriend I want an open relationship?
Rhonda helps a reader have a conversation about opening the relationship.
Turns out my guy has a girlfriend. He won’t tell her about me. Should I?
Rhonda Perky answers your question: The guy I’m seeing has a girlfriend and won’t tell her about me. Should I?
My partner has been with someone else, now I want my turn
‘How do I tell him I want to be with someone else?’
Is my partner a Dom or a sadist?
Rhonda helps determine if a lover is a Dom or a sadist, and offers tips on how to play safely and with consent.
I’m into BDSM but my wife of 40 years is totally vanilla
Rhonda helps a kinky reader grapple with his vanilla relationship.
What if my girlfriend fakes her orgasms?
Rhonda helps a lover grapple with the possibility his girlfriend fakes her orgasms.