Perks Magazine

An exploration of sex, sexuality and little bits of life

The Perky Jouney

The Perky journey began back in 2010 with a little blog called Rhonda Perky’s Bits.

In my early 30s, married and divorced, from horny to frigid and back again, I began to delve into my experiences with friendship, love, lust, and everything in between.

My blog was a place to document my reflections and shifting perspectives on social norms such as monogamy and kink, and my experiences navigating the interpersonal.

A few years on, having enrolled to study sexology and sexual health, I expanded the blog to encompass feature articles, essays, and observations, and launched Perks Magazine.

I hope my journey inspires you to reflect and explore.

With love, Rhonda xx

Latest posts

Filtering ourselves through rejection-coloured glasses

In Part Three of this exploration of self-image, projection, and the ego-defences, Rhonda explores how we filter our view of ourselves.

Memory — The Self as an Unreliable Narrator

In Part Two of this exploration of self-image, projection, and the ego-defences, Rhonda explores the unreliability of memory.

Projecting Rejection

The first in a series of posts where Rhonda explores self-image, projection, and the ego-defences we use to preserve our sense of self.

Strike Up A Chat

Rhonda chats to Natalie Swedosh about her Strike Up A Chat social interaction initiative that helps women and men reconnect in person.

My boyfriend has transgender friends – does he want to be with one again?

Rhonda answers the question: ‘My boyfriend has transgender friends on his profile. I was wondering if he wants to be with one again?’

Tennille Melcher: Art + Sensuality = Empowerment

Tennessee-based Boudoir/Intimate photographer and blogger Tennille Melcher shares her passion for empowering others.

I caught my boyfriend cheating

Rhonda helps a woman process the aftermath of a betrayal.

I’m in love with a girl in an abusive relationship

Rhonda helps a White Knight rescue a damsel in an open-but-abusive relationship, and offers some tips on handling jealousy.

Once bitten, twice shy

Rhonda helps a 23-year-old virgin find a way to trust again.

How can I trust after a betrayal?

Rhonda helps a Mistress learn to trust after a betrayal.

Under the covers…

Relation-ships
Kink
Single
Life
Sex
Your Stories
Sexuality
Perky Leigh
Porn
Ask Rhonda
Editorial
Perky’s Bits
Reviews

Review: Sex with Shakespeare

We review Jillian Keenan’s memoir on Shakespeare, love, and spanking: a story not just for kinksters and fetishists, but for everyone.

Hummers: first sign of marriage breakdown

Researchers have now shown that Hummers are one of the first real signs of marriage breakdown. Couples who use a Hummer as part of their wedding ceremonies will have an 87% chance of divorce within the first 6 months of marriage.

One plus one equals three?

Lady Chatterley shares her non-monogamous memoir.

The Creepy Line: Do Not Cross

Rhonda explores why it’s socially acceptable for women to flirt and compliment, but not straight men.

Mass shootings: disaffected young men or entitled objectification?

A response to Jim Dowd’s ‘The Shootings Are Not Senseless’.

If you don’t know, the answer is “no”

‘What if a girl says yes, then changes her mind?’ Rhonda provides some clarity on why the only yes is a sober and enthusiastic one.

Sex addiction: another form of slut shaming?

Sex ‘addiction’ has become a label we slap on anyone we perceive as having a higher than ‘normal’ sex drive (whatever that is) or whose behaviour sits outside social norms (whatever those are). Is this just another form of slut-shaming?

Tennille Melcher: Art + Sensuality = Empowerment

Tennessee-based Boudoir/Intimate photographer and blogger Tennille Melcher shares her passion for empowering others.

Misguided protectiveness, slut-shaming or internalised paternalism?

Rhonda Perky examines how everyday paternalism shifts accountability, and asks: ‘What makes us uncomfortable? Whose behaviour is really the problem? Where does the accountability lie?’

My brush with HPV

One reader describes her brush with the Human Papillomavirus (HPV).

Abuse is a choice

Rhonda Perky shares her reflections on ending up in an abusive relationship and how she eventually walked away, and the questions this raises for our society.

The ‘Perfect’ Relationship

Rhonda reflects on what makes the ‘perfect’ relationship.

Filtering ourselves through rejection-coloured glasses

In Part Three of this exploration of self-image, projection, and the ego-defences, Rhonda explores how we filter our view of ourselves.

Misguided protectiveness, slut-shaming or internalised paternalism?

Rhonda Perky examines how everyday paternalism shifts accountability, and asks: ‘What makes us uncomfortable? Whose behaviour is really the problem? Where does the accountability lie?’

Feel the fear

From the blog: Rhonda Perky learns a tough lesson in feeling the fear and doing it anyway.

What does a word weigh?

‘Rape’? Rhonda Perky reflects on the weight of words in how we conceptualise our experiences.

Projecting Rejection

The first in a series of posts where Rhonda explores self-image, projection, and the ego-defences we use to preserve our sense of self.

Unravelling jealousy

Rhonda reveals her struggle with jealousy and what it means to hold on by letting go.

Endometriosis: 20 years of invisible pain

Rhonda Perky reflects on living with endometriosis for the past 20 years.

I am more than my appearance

I can’t change the way we objectify and value physical appearance; I can only change the way I see myself. I am more than my appearance, more than my achievements, and I don’t have to be seen to have value.

Married Sex – A fairytale in three parts

Rhonda reflects on the rise and fall of desire in a long term relationship.

Conflicting desires: when arousal is disturbing

Objectifying images may be less comfortable and more confronting to watch, but they can evoke a more direct physical response. But what if there is an emotional cost of continually engaging in this kind of ‘disturbing arousal’?

Casual sex: doing it without doing dinner

Rhonda offers her advice on negotiating casual sex.

Dating dishonesty: why our social scripts are doing us damage

Unless we make room for open and honest communication early on, we can only end up with a host of dissatisfied people, constantly seeking one thing, but finding another.

My dirty little secret

Rhonda explores her journey coming out as bisexual.

Madison Missina — on porn

In Part Two, Madison Missina talks about her experiences behind the scenes on a porn set.

Communication in conflict

Can your communication style during conflict really make a difference?

Sex toys: dos and don’ts

Thinking of buying a sex toy? Victoria from Passionfruit The Sensuality Shop talks sex toys, the sex toy industry, and how to find the right fit for you.

The Creepy Line: Do Not Cross

Rhonda explores why it’s socially acceptable for women to flirt and compliment, but not straight men.

Safe Sex is Sexy

Porn performer and escort Madison Missina talks to Perks about the Safe Sex is Sexy social awareness campaign.

My boyfriend likes ‘shemales’ – what do I do?

Rhonda offers advice to a woman whose partner is into ‘shemale’ porn

My girlfriend agreed to an open relationship… until I wanted to act on it

Rhonda Perky answers your question: My girlfriend agreed to an open relationship… until I wanted to act on it. What should I do?

How do I introduce a kink to my partner?

Rhonda helps a kinky lover introduce a new kink to their repertoire.

What if my girlfriend fakes her orgasms?

Rhonda helps a lover grapple with the possibility his girlfriend fakes her orgasms.

My fiancé struggles to find partners in our open relationship

‘I don’t want to cheat but I can’t control myself. What should I do?’

Addicted to social media: in search of a meaningful connection

My life revolves around social media, I seek attention there all the time. I got on twitter to seek friends, a connection, but twitter relationships are temporary.

Cuckold fantasies: My lover likes the idea of me with other men

‘My emotional brain says he doesn’t care enough to want me to himself. Are we doomed to remain fuck-buddies?’

More than friends: is it worth the risk?

Rhonda helps a Clueless Canadian decide whether it is worth risking friendship to pursue a short-term non-monogamous relationship.

I want to open my relationship—is this a cause for disaster?

Rhonda answers your question: I want to open my relationship — is this a cause for disaster?

What is the difference between BDSM, D/s and S&M?

Rhonda answers the question: What is the difference between BDSM, D/s and S&M?